Linda Saxy

Author (A.K.A. Linda Bolton)

Do You Have Realistic Expectations?

Porn…yes, I’m talking porn.

Every adult has seen some form of it – whether it be a movie (bow-chicka-bow-wow), read it (super hot paperbacks) or you see photos in magazines and on the internet. We are all exposed. I’m not just talking about the obvious porn, but photos of overly-half naked men and women posted everywhere in our everyday life. Advertisements are full of them (Calvin Klein ads were famous for it).

You see these images. Now look at your mate. Are you hoping, secretly, they look like that? Are you looking for that special someone with rippling abs? Can you discern fantasy from real life?

You say, of course I can. But can you? How many times do we fantasize about that unrealistic body you wish your special someone had? How many times have I heard that a spouse no longer loves their spouse because they’ve gained weight?

I’ll pick on men first. They’re easiest – sorry guys. From the time your hormones kick in you are looking for big boobs, a firm ass, or long legs. Oh, don’t forget the long blonde hair. Where does this come from? I could blame it on men’s magazines and XXX movies, but its everyhere – TV, movies, billboards. You’re bombarded with it. You have to know, we can’t compete with that. There are so few women that meet the fantasy, and can keep it. If you find her, she has to grow old at some point. Wrinkles set in, she gains some weight, the boobs are no longer perky and neither is the ass. Your eyes start to wander. Forgetting with these changes comes maturity, she knows you and your quirks, and she still loves you.

Ok gals, we’re just as bad. We long for that guy with bulging biceps, rippling abs, who can pick us up with ease and carry us off to bed. Its in our magazines, movies, TV and books we read. Men have the same issues we do…they age. The arms aren’t as muscular as they once were, the abs turn to a round gut, their hair thins. You eyes wander. This guy has been there through children, illness, and family drama – you sure you want to trade him in?

Let’s say you’re single and 45 years old or older. You look on the dating websites. What do you see? Exactly what you had. There is only so much botox, lifting and enlarging you can do. You can add plugs, lift weights and lose a few pounds. What do you have? Someone over 45…

Moral of the story? Enjoy our differences from what society tells us is sexy. Individuality is priceless. Growing old gracefully, accepting of body changes, can be sexy. Be confident in who you are. You are beautiful and sexy no mantter what age or size. You are handsome and hunky no matter what age or size. The mind is a very sexy organ. Use it more. A good conversation, an intellegent conversation, can be a turn on. Try it.


  1. Well said! Now if only everyone would simply use their very own mirrors as a gauge of their unreal expectations… sigh… love this!

  2. Linda, well said. Now how do I find them? Lol

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